HATE DAYS!!!!

Nothing much to say now except that I want to scream my most hated days/date in a year. There are 365 days in a year and I only live less than that. I am dead on these dates:

1.Every 3rd of the month with emphasis on September
2.Every Sundays (may vary sometimes) with spill-over effect on Mondays
3.October 18 (Sorry bro it’s your birthday but not about you)
4.Maybe September 20

Pathetic as it may seem but that’s how it is with me. I live a life with less than 365 days a year to live.

The bitter sweet of life

Have you ever imagine finding out a dreaded truth? A reality that you have been trying to avoid and a fact you have been trying to brush off your mind.

In the most unnatural way I have experienced bits and bits of truth slowly unfold. My speculation became a reality. It broke my heart, mind, body and soul. It was a total disaster that caused my sanity to suspend in the air and saw nothing but black. And this happened maybe a month ago.

Now, I am in a terrible crossroad with no idea which way to go. I am totally lost in the oblivion of life. I feel alive but dead inside. NOW, I PERSONALLY FELT THAT THE TRUTH REALLY HURTS AND NOT HURTS BUT KILLS.

Glimpse of the Past

I miss this blog! I was reading through it and memories just came back. Tough, but it speaks about the realities of life.Memories of desperation,exasperation, devastation and bliss. Well, only reminds me that I am still living. I am still holding on and I will continue to hold on until my system overloads. Call it insanity but this is how complex a human mind is, impossible to debug.

Epitome of Love

LOVE conquers all from birth to tomb. True?..Maybe! But can we really say that we have loved enough and have loved faithfully? Can we say that we are always “in love”?

Maybe “love” is one of the most imperfect adjective or verb in this matter. It may sound definite when spoken, but it is not. The word “love” should always be synonymous with trust. Hearing these lines are very comforting,isn't it? True “love” indulges one’s self, spirit and soul to never ending bliss. But many times, “love” has proven to be devastating. It becomes a prelude to death. That once great feeling of love becomes excruciatingly painful to ones dignity and pride. It is like a poison slowly infecting your system of sanity, your vision of truth, your world of happiness, and your very existence, life.

C’est La Vie!

Have you ever tried fighting for in what you believe in? Or have you experienced being fought for because a person believed in you? Many times I have experienced people tormented with too much idealism in them. Too idealistic, so to speak, that they sometimes lose touch of reality.

I cannot understand why people have to suffer despite doing it right. We dwell so much with ideas we cannot live and stand for. We live with promises in our hearts and minds to cope with shortcomings. We are left with acceptance to believe that everything will be alright. This is the world I see and this will be the world I will live in.

TRUTH DECAY

I know it's working hours and I am not suppose to write blogs. But a friend pops me an email and I felt that the message seems so right that I can also relate to what my friend is feeling (maybe on different aspects though). To make this quick, here is the email...

..."Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place."

I'm sure most readers will be familiar with the concept of selective exposure, selective attention, selective perception, and selective retention. In other words, most of us tend to expose ourselves and give attention only to messages we want to hear. Furthermore, we see things the way we want to see them, and remember only what we want to remember. Everything else we filter out. We turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to what we don't want to see or hear.

The fact is we see and hear things not the way THEY are, but the way WE are. We all see things through our mental filter which has been formed by years of past experiences. The more we were hurt or felt disillusioned in the past (unless these are resolved), the more distorted our view of reality will be—and the more selective we will be in what we unconsciously choose to hear and see.

Plus, the more we are into denial about past hurtful experiences and are not being honest with ourselves, the more TRUTH DECAY sets in causing us to distort all other truth.

On the other hand, the more honest and truthful we are with our inner self (our gut level feelings and motives), the clearer we will see—and the less we will distort—all other truth. Also, the closer our relationships with others will be. People who wear masks to hide their true self cannot have in-depth relationships. Masks may look fine on the outside, but masks cannot relate. All maskers have is a masquerade.

Truth decay is destructive to one's physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational health. It is a destroyer of societies and opens the door for evil to enter. It is not without very good reason why God desires truth in our innermost being—not for his sake, but much more so for ours.

LOVE IS BLIS?

To love and be loved is really bliss! How about you love and be loved in return but the love in return is shared with another one?..Hmmm still bliss? O well, this is just some reality that we have to face in life. As they say, " just make do with what you have and be contented". But of course all of us deserves better.

Top of my head I just want to throw some questions.

1. If given the situation, who would you choose? The person who loves you or the person you love?
2. How would you know that she's not in to you?

Your comments are welcome!